


Just Friends  I Think

by whodathunkit



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-07
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2015-07-24 03:14:43
Rating: M
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,735
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7531948/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3356799/whodathunkit
Summary: Brian has met someone he thinks could be different from all the others, but this person has a boyfriend. He quickly decides to try and become friends with Justin but is that all they can limit themselves to with their quick connection and sexual tension?





	1. Chapter 1

Brian was at the catwalk looking down at his kingdom. * All mine! * He saw many possibilities but none were really making his dick stand to attention. Then he saw a beautiful blond boy at the bar, however his vision was obscured by a troll. The troll had the blonds' hands in his and it looked as if he was squeezing them, he had the blonds body pressed against his and he was trying to kiss the boy who clearly didn't feel the same way.

Brian approached the two pulled the troll back, away from his delectable blond, telling him in a clear, strong and intimidating voice to "Fuck off!" he then turned to the blond and offered him a smile. "Sorry about that, sometimes they let themselves get carried away. I'm Brian." He held out his hand to be shaken.

The blonde took hold of the hand proffered and felt a sharp jolt of electricity run through his veins making him let out an involuntary gasp. "Justin." He replied breathlessly.

"You're fuking hot Justin. I'd fuck you." Brian wanted to make his intentions clear.

"Well I'm sure that works on all the girls, but I have a boyfriend who might object that happening." Justin gave him a sweet smile and turned to see his partner coming back from the restroom. "Will!" at this point Justin and Brian's hands were still connected, Justin tried to free his hand but Brian wanted to hold on for a little while longer so he placed both of them behind his back, out of view from what he assumed was The Boyfriend.

"Hey! Sorry I took so long. Seems like I left you as prey to all the over the hill club boys in this place." Wills comment was overtly directed at Brian. "Brian, long time, no see."

Brian was still rubbing his thumb over the smooth surface of Justin's pale hand when he questioned. "Who the fuck are you?"

"You guys know each other?" Justin asked.

"It was a long time ago baby. I was in a bad place. I didn't know what… or who I was doing." Trying to reassure his boyfriend, Will pulled Justin to him, effectively ending the connection between Justin and Brian, and Justin automatically placed his arms on Wills shoulders. "I love you. You have nothing to worry about."

Brian was livid, The Boyfriend took away Justin and used that horrible…L-L-L-L-LOVE! "Yeah? 'Cause, it looked like he had something to worry about, you know, when the troll was tryna stick his tongue down your beloveds throat?" and with that he walked away.

Justin didn't know why but he went after the man and half way through the dance floor he was finally able to reach out and take his hand back. "HEY!" Brian turned around at hearing this. "I wanted to thank you… for helping me. You didn't have to we both know that. You may seem like a pompous asshole," Justin smiled to let Brian know that he was joking. "But I think there's more to you than that. I can't exactly repay you; I'm just a lowly waiter, so thank you and maybe I'll see you around." He let go before he got lost in those beautiful hazel eyes and joined his boyfriend as they headed out together.

Brian stood there, amazed that Justin took the time to thank him and think that he was more than just 'Brian Fuking Kinney'. * He's fucking amazing *


	2. Chapter 2

Brian entered the Diner on that Saturday morning and scanned the place for Justin. *I fucking love that name...wait...what?* he shook his head clear of the lesbionic thoughts and made eye contact with the beautiful boy, gave his classic smirk, and made his way to the counter to order.

Justin was behind the till when he saw Brian and blushed at the smirk he received. He went to Brian with the ordering pad at the ready but didn't want him to see the red tinge to his cheeks and so raised the pad in front of his face. "What can I get you, sir?"

"I think we're past formalities, don't you Justin?" Brian asked as he lowered the order pad from Justin's face and kept a hold of his hand. "I mean, well, I did fuck The Boyfriend. But however fucked up that is I would like a coffee, I don't think I could survive work with out one."

Justin's blush deepened in anger and embarrassment but he, nevertheless, poured Brian a coffee, but with his back to him. He decided to act professional and make conversation instead of dwelling on past matters, after all he did kind of save him at Babylon "Where do you work?" He asked out of interest whilst turning around.

*Damn, what an ass!* Brian cleared his throat. "I own my own advertising company." He answered distractedly.

Justin turned around and placed Brian's coffee in front of him. "Wow! You must be the youngest person I know to own his own company. Well other than Will of course, he's only 29 and owns a law firm." Brian could hear the pride in Justin's voice and hated that The Boyfriend was making Justin smile like that. * I want to make you smile like that someday *

"How old do you think I am?" Brian was interested to hear what the blonde had to say.

"...32?"

"32?...32! No! I am not fucking 32!"

"Well, you asked! And it's not my fault you look like your 32!"

"Well I'm not! For your information I'm 29!"

"Yeah right" Justin smirked.

Brian pulled his wallet out of his caramel cashmere coat pocket and took out his driver's license. "There! I'm definitely 29. Now do you believe me?" Brian was absolutely livid, however when he looked up to Justin's face, he knew he had been taken for a fool. "You're a fucking twat, you know that?" He mumbled.

Justin's smile was radiant as he replied "Well that's what you get for hitting on me when you've already fucked my boyfriend." * take that Kinney, I got my own back *

Brian furrowed his eyebrows, stood up and went around the counter to put his arms around Justin's waist and smiled smugly. Justin was a little perplexed by his behavior but then remembered the night before and started to blush, which then made him panic. "W-what are you doing?"

Brian pulled Justin flush against his body and replied the obvious "I'm holding you." he whispered into Justin's neck.

"I kind of figured that part out. I meant why?"

"Because you were angry that I fucked The Boyfriend and not because I tried to fuck you."

Justin froze realising the impact of what he'd said before he wriggled out of Brian's arms and composed himself. "I have to work." He said defiantly.

"Well I'll wait for you. Maybe we can catch a bite to eat somewhere else once you're done?" * What. The. Fuck am I saying? *

"Are you asking me out on a date? I have a boyfriend, which you already know!" Justin exclaimed disbelievingly.

"It's not a date. It's simply two people who have just met and are taking the opportunity to get to know each other better." * There! That's innocent enough, and I despise the word DATE *

"What like friends?" Justin was quite skeptical of Brian. Will had told him about the illustrious Brian Kinney last night and he wasn't sure if this wasn't just a new way of trying to get him into bed.

"Yeah, I would love to be your friend" he said sincerely, surprising himself.

Justin looked into Brian's eyes and saw that the man was telling the truth, however a friendship could lead to something more. "I can't..."

"C'mon." Brian held his hands up in surrender "I promise I'll keep my hands to my self, and I'll even pay." he smiled sweetly. * Please come out with me *

"I have somewhere to be."

"Of course, The Boyfriend probably has you on a leash." * Just like I'd handcuff you and we could role play in bed *

"He has not got me on a leash! That isn't how our relationship works."

"So what the fucks stopping you?" Brian inquired curiously.

"I have to go to College; if I miss a lesson then they'll stop my funding."

"Wait. I thought you said The Boyfriend owns his own company?"

"He does." Justin restated.

"Then why the fuck doesn't he pay for you?"

Justin took pause to reflect on the tone of Brian's voice. * He sounds angry and kind of worried * "He provides me with everything that I need and I sorted out the arrangements before I met him. And! Before you ask, he's offered a million times but I just want to do it on my own."

"Just seems unfair, that's all." Brian shrugged.

"Do you actually care about what's going on in my life?" Justin asked disbelievingly. "I was only your potential trick last night!"

"Yeah, and I'm trying to change that. If I can't fuck then you might as well be somewhere in my life."

"Wow!"

"Besides you're too hot to let go. I'm basically going to see you everyday seeing as you work in the diner, and this establishment is owned by my suedo mother"

"Debbie?"

"Yup."

"Woah! I would not have paired you guys together." Justin giggled.

* That giggle is fucking adorable * "So what about tomorrow?" When Brian didn't receive a reply he felt surprisingly disappointed "Whatever, just... Forget it..." Brian whispered as he turned on his heels to walk away.

Justin reached out and grabbed Brian by the hand, giving him his most dazzling smile to reassure him. "I would love to have dinner with you. As friends." He clarified.

Brian returned the smile in relief and nuzzled Justin's' cheek, taking hold of his chin and inhaling his scent, reveling in this boy who was making him act so out of character. "I'll see you tomorrow at 6. My place." And with that Brian gave Justin his address and left. 


	3. Chapter 3

**A bit of angst is included in this chapter but not anything to worry about. I just wanted to show how strong their connection with each other is when they've only just met. **

**Also I love a bit of angst me *-) **

* What the hell is wrong with me? * Brian had been asking himself that question all day. He and Justin had only known each other for a day and yet they were acting as though they'd known each other forever. But he felt comfortable around the boy and wanted him as close as he could be with out over stepping the line because he knew Justin was committed to his boyfriend (as in he wouldn't sleep with anyone else) and didn't want their newly formed friendship to be over before it had begun. * Plus if I try and sleep with him NOW he'll probably hate me forever *

Brian had been home from work for about 20 minutes and had just showered and put some sweats on. A moment later his loft buzzer went off and he went to answer it. "Yeah?"

"Hey. It's me, Justin?"

"Are you sure of your name or do want me to clarify it? Because I've only known you for a little over a day and I might get it wrong." Brian could hear Justin's giggle throughout his question and was thrilled that he could make him laugh with out even being able to see each other.

"It's me Justin." Justin stated clearly. "Now can I come in?'Cause its fuckin' freezing outside and I left my coat at the diner."

Brian buzzed Justin in and opened the loft door to stand against the frame. As Justin walked up he could see the appreciation in his eyes at him being half naked and when Justin reached the top he grabbed him by the hands and pulled him towards himself, chest to chest. "Hey." he greeted his guest, smiling.

"Hey." Justin smiled back and blushed. He was getting used to Brains want of contact as he assumed he was like that with all of his friends but he still felt the heat spread through his body and up to his cheeks.

Brian put his face right in front of Justin's and nuzzled his nose against and frosty one to warm it some. "I was just getting ready and then we can get going. Why don't you get the wine out and we can have a drink before we go?" Brian asked whispering even though they were ultimately alone.

"Sure." Justin gasped.

Brian gave Justin a peck on the cheek and reluctantly removed himself from Justin and made his way to the bedroom, making sure to keep the dividers open.

Justin made his way to the kitchen and admired the framing before he went in search of the wine and a couple of glasses. After he found both he placed the glasses on the counter and started to pour. With his right hand.

Brian heard a crash and a shout "Fuck!" from the kitchen and ran out to find Justin standing there, shocked, with trembling hands and wine all over the front of his jeans and sweater. "What the fuck happened?" He asked worried.

Justin misinterpreted Brian's worry for anger and started to apologise profusely whilst bending down to pick up the broken shards of the wine bottle "I am s-so sorry... I-I didn't mean to... I swear."

Brian heard the tremble in Justin's voice and went up behind him to pick him up from under his shoulders; he picked Justin up and put him on the counter, placed himself in between his legs and took his face into his hands. "You alright?"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising. It was an accident, I'm sure." Brian tried to give a reassuring smile but found that it didn't work as he saw tears drop from Justin's perfect eyes. He wiped them away as best as he could with his thumbs and kissed the ones that got away.

Brian put his arms around Justin's waist and stroked his back smoothly in circles. His bare chest was getting damp but he didn't care at all. "Shhh, it's alright." Justin threw his arms around Brian's neck and drew comfort from his warm, inviting body.

Brian drew back only a little so that their noses were touching, when Justin's tears subsided he asked "Why don't we put you in different clothes and get these washed, huh?"

Justin was grateful that Brian wasn't making a big deal out of the situation and gave a small smile to show his appreciation. "Yeah, thanks." He whispered.

"C'mon." With that Brian led him by the hand through the bedroom and to the bathroom; all the while Justin was a pace behind, burying his head into Brian's shoulder. Brian removed Justin's clothes, save his black boxers, and placed him beside the sink. He wiped away the wine that stained Justin's pale body after admiring Justin's physique, and then cleaned a cut on Justin's thigh; it was small but quite deep so he patched it up. After that, he wiped his own chest and helped Justin down from the counter and into the bedroom to place him on the bed. He realised that Justin once again sought comfort from him by burying his head in his shoulder and was more than willing to provide what could to make Justin feel better.

Brian got out an old, button up, white shirt and helped Justin into it. He decided to leave any trousers so that his wound would get some air to it. * He looks so damn adorable it my shirt I just want to eat him up! *

They walked to the sofa hand in hand. When they were seated Brian called the restaurant and cancelled their appointments, then he turned to Justin, whose head was on his shoulder and legs curled up beside him, and whispered "What happened back there?"

A tear rolled down Justin's cheek as he answered sarcastically "Your typical high school bashing after prom by the guy you gave a hand job to."

"What?"

"This jock, Chris Hobbs, he took a bat to my head and I ended up in a coma and then physiotherapy for a while after that... for my... gimp hand."

Brian could see the hurt in Justin's eyes and wanted to make light of the situation so he took a hold of Justin's hand and ran his thumb over the back of it "Well I think that it's a wonderful hand, not gimp at all." He smiled and softly kissed Justin on the mouth.

Justin chuckled and gently slapped Brian on the chest. "Shut up."

"I may have only met you yesterday but there's definitely something about you Justin Taylor that I'm beginning to…"

"What?"

"…see as a f-friend." Brian smiled. He had almost uttered that inane four letter word when he caught himself. He hoped that Justin didn't notice faux pas. He didn't understand the feelings that were developing inside him; he wanted to fuck Justin at first but when he found out that that may be out of the question he wanted to get to know him and become friends, not at all like he would have reacted if he couldn't get a trick. He knew there was a lot of sexual chemistry between them and that Justin would be upset with him if he took anything further than a kiss right now because of The Boyfriend, whose presence was always there and reminding Justin that he was in a "committed" relationship, but Brian just couldn't seem to keep his hands off of the boy, hence he constant hand holding, even now he still had that perfect littler hand in his own and it felt like he was grounded.

"When I saw you at Babylon I wanted to fuck you so bad, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I guess I have to respect that you have a… prior commitment." While Brian said the last part he couldn't stop himself from laughing, as did Justin when he heard what his new friend was referring to his boyfriend as.

"I think that if we were to have met and I was single then you wouldn't have exactly kept me around after…" At Brian's look of shock Justin carried on "I heard all about you. Will told me the night I met you. I thought that you guys had sex since Will and I had gotten together and he was just setting me straight. But I heard about how you treat your tricks, how you made Will feel after that night, no repeats, maximum of pleasure and the minimum of bullshit, just in and out like the people you have sex with don't even have feelings." Justin's voice was soft to let Brian know that he wasn't judging him but simply letting him know that he had heard about way of a sex life and how it had affected Will.

"Don't tell me how I live my life" Brian warned. Hearing all of this from Justin felt like a kick in the gut and it was not a particularly nice feeling. He let go of Justin's hand to show his distaste for the subject.

Justin realised that Brian must have taken it the wrong way. "Brian. I'm not judging you. I'm just saying that if we were to have met before I entered a relationship then we wouldn't have the chance of becoming fends like we have now. You treat your tricks pretty badly; I know Will was really hurt at the time. Someone in his family passed away, that's why he was at Babylon, but you don't even consider these things."

"You don't know anything about me!" Brian stood up and Justin stood with him. He (Justin) knew that he hit a nerve and wanted to clam Brian down so he put his hands on either side of Brian's face. "Do you or The Boyfriend even know why I was there that night?" Brian looked away, afraid to show the vulnerability he felt.

"Hey," it took a while for Brian to make eye contact but when he did he placed his hands on Justin's hips, under the shirt, to let him know that he was listening. "Hey, your right; I don't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't make assumptions and I was just going on what I was told."

Brian put his forehead to Justins. "Well you did get your information from The Boyfriend and it seems that it was all bad, so I wonder if that leash we were talking about yesterday really does exist." He sneered

Justin backed away from Brian. "That's not fair and you know it. He was just your trick of course he's only going to have negative feelings towards you." He was defending his boyfriend against the man that hurt him. He didn't have to justify himself and he yet he was. He didn't have to consider Brian's feelings, only his boyfriends at this present moment, yet he was.

Brian back Justin up against a wall, placing their bodies firmly together. "And what do you feel for me Justin?"

Because I know that I'm feeling something I've never felt before * Brian leaned into Justin, looking deep into his eyes and saw something that pleased him within the perfect blue orbs: lust.

Justin raised his left hand in return, placing his fingertips on Brian's cheekbone. "Brian…" Both men leaned into each others heat and just as their mouths were nearly touching...BANG! BANG! BANG! Was heard on the loft door. 

**Who do you think should be at the door? Just write a review and include it, the character mentioned the most will be it. It can be anyone as long ad they're relevant and please no crossovers **


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm terribly sorry for not updating, my laptop broke and I took it in for repair and only just got it back 3 days ago. Not of my chapters are already written and I have revision to do but I think the next chapter will be up within the next week and a half. So sorry *cute kitten eyes* **

**Brian's POV:**

Just when I get the chance to show him how good it can be with me, Mickey had to show up at the loft. He didn't stop banging until I had to reluctantly remove myself from Sunshine and answer the door. He's sitting here now, in the middle of Sunshine and me, and he WONT GO AWAY! He's been yapping away non-stop ever since he heard that Justin was the one who made some comic book called RAGE, but most of all he's been keeping all of Sunshine's attention and just will not let up!

I want his attention, I want to talk to him, I want to make his eyes sparkle with excitement, I want to hold his hand, his hips, his face, his waist, and just when I look up at him now, I realise that I don't want those things… I think I might need them. And I want him to need them to.

He makes my stomach hurt in the best way possible and my finger tips tingle when he's close to me. I absolutely love that feeling and he's the only one that can ignite it. I think that's why I held him in Babylon instead of dragging him to the backroom, why I held him in the diner when he gave a little bit away, and why, when he arrived, I just had to take him in my arms as if I'd known him for ten years and he'd been away for a one.

I know he has The Boyfriend and I know he's important to him, I can't just try and seduce him because my feelings are confusing me and I kinda want him around. Plus, I don't want him to feel the guilt he will if he cheats on The Boyfriend. I never want him to feel bad about himself.

That's why I'll wait until we're both ready. I'm not because I'm still fucking everything that moves and I know that if we were to start something now, then I would destroy it right after our first time and I don't want that, I finally feel like I've found the person that I'm supposed to lo-Whoah!

Mickey's still talking to him. From where I'm sitting I can see the back of his head and Sunshine's perfect face. Mickey's head is bobbing up and down as he speaks while I just sit here thinking of the ways that I can kill him without Sunshine freaking out about it.

I get up and move over to Sunshine while Mickey's in mid sentence. I want Sunshine to myself, this was supposed to be our evening and Mickey's hand is a bit too close to Sunshine's bare leg for my liking. I grip both of Sunshine's hands with mine and pull him up from the sofa. All the while he's protesting and trying to remove his hands from mine.

"Brian! I'm talking to Michael."

"So?" I shrug. He's pouting and I want to kiss his bottom lip. So I do and he moves his head back a little. I don't think he's done reprimanding me.

"So? Have you never heard of manners?" he looks positively delicious.

"It's Mickey. He's known me since we were in high school. He's used to it by now." I raise my eyebrow and dare him to challenge me on the knowledge of MY best friend.

And then I see something I don't particularly like. "Mickey! Stop it!"

"What?" He sounds completely innocent of course but when he looks at me I know. His eyes have probably been trained on Sunshine's ass since he stood up and it's irritating the shit out of me.

"You know what!" I put my hands on Sunshine's ass as a way of protecting it and he blushes when I do. I love that I have that affect on him. Whenever I see a way to justifiably touch him (in my terms), I do. I can't help it.

He puts his hands on my chest to push me off and I hold him to me by putting my hands around his lower back and smile a cheeky smile at him. When he realises he's not getting away he laughs and I can tell he's amazed at how comfortable we are together even though we only just met. I know the feeling.

I walk with him to the kitchen, in the same position, with him walking backwards the entire time. So the trust thing isn't an issue I guess. We finally get there and I pick him up with my hands under his ass (see, the touching is completely justifiable) and pop him down on the counter. "Since we had to cancel our dinner reservations, I thought that I could maybe make us something."

"BRIAN KINNEY! Offering to cook for another human being! My God! I am astounded!" Michael really needs to quite the fuck down. He just got off the sofa to join us, no doubt, and has a surprised look on his face.

"Why is that such a surprise?" Justin asks confusion evident in his voice. He obviously doesn't understand that I'm supposed to be the big bad wolf in the land of gay fairy tales.

When I open my mouth to answer my voice sounds curiously like Michaels "Well he's Brian Kinney." Like that explains everything. I guess it sort of does actually. Then Mickey goes on. "Brian is an asshole. Brian Fucking Kinney rims, rams and fucks and after he's done he leaves satisfied without a care in the world for what his trick is feeling. He gets in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Heteros tell themselves they're in love because that's the only way they can get any, according to Brian Kinney, and since he has no problem with getting laid he doesn't believe in love."

All throughout his little frikin' speech I see the expression in Sunshines' face change from curiosity to complete and utter…. There's not even a word for it. He looks upset, disappointed, surprised and shocked. He obviously wasn't expecting this news about who I am but I guess it's true. I have lived my life that way but I'm getting to be more mature now and maybe I want to give this whole being 'grown up' thing a go. But Sunshine's the only one I want to do that for… I mean with...I mean …never mind!

He looks straight at me; deep into my eyes likes he's searching for something. "I knew how you treated your tricks. But I didn't know that's how you felt about love." He looks at me like he wants to ask something; probably why I feel this way.

We stare into each others eyes for a while until Mickey's phone starts to ring. Turns out the professor wants to go to bed early if the smile on Michael's face is anything to go by. He leaves us to it with a quick 'cya!' and is on his way. As soon as he's gone Sunshine takes my head in both of his hands, I love his soft hands on me. "I use to think that love was bullshit too." He's smiling and I don't get it. He doesn't strike me as someone who has a reason to not believe in something so natural and important to everyone else. "I grew up foolishly thinking that my parents love for me was unconditional. Then one day I tell them I like dick and I find myself kicked to the curb." Wow! I was not expecting that. His sunny disposition doesn't exactly let your mind wander in that direction.

"But I didn't let it hinder me, so you shouldn't either, you'll find someone who will make you believe in love again." And just when I think we're getting somewhere… "Just like I have with Will." And there's that frikin' smile again.

**Do you guys think that the story is even making sense because I've been away from it for a while so I'm not sure if I'm being all that consistent?**


	5. Chapter 5

**No copyright infringement intended. I just want to have some fun with my two favourite boys.**

**Justins POV: **

When I was younger, Christmas was full of tradition; my father used to run into my bedroom early in the morning and tickle me relentlessly until I swore I was going to pee. After that we'd both go and get Molly from her nursery and make our way downstairs.

I'd just stare at the tree that me and my father decorated the night before, wondering how on earth it looked so good when my father had a hand in it (he hasn't got the greatest artistic eye you see?) but then my focus would zoom in on the little star we always put on the top of the tree since I was in kindergarten. It was made with shiny gold paper stuck awkwardly on cardboard and only 4 and a half points (one of them was really dodgy) with blue glitter sprinkled haphazardly anywhere it would stick to the glue. My father would place it in my hands and lift me up so I could place it in the perfect place, then he'd give me the biggest bone crushing hug and tell me that I did a wonderful job. That's when my smile would shine the brightest. That all went to shit after I came out.

I knew I was gay ever since I saw Chris Hobbs. He was my first crush and I didn't question why I wasn't having those feelings for girls, I just knew that what I was feeling was completely right. Senior year, I gave him a hand job. Simple really. But then he freaked and told his parents that I'd tried to come on to him. The principle found out and I got suspend for a while because, of course, they couldn't expel me, that would create too much of a scandal. Instead they treated me like the faggot I am and put me down any chance they got. My phys Ed teacher insulted my lack of masculinity. My English teacher always directed questions to me when we read Oscar Wilde. My Math teacher would make me stand in front of the classroom to solve equations on the board and not say anything when things were thrown at my back. My homework was graded down and my life was hell. Not to mention my father was ignoring me.

That Christmas I didn't laugh in the morning. The star was apparently lost and my happiness with it. He didn't speak to me at all.

When I left home after a big blow up with my father, I cried my way to Daphne's home. People looked at me on the street like I was crazy and needed to be committed, but all I really needed was my best friend. I stayed at Daphne's for a while and we even went to the prom together. Her parents were more accepting of me because they understood what it was like to be treated differently because of something you couldn't control. I stayed there until I graduated high school and that summer I met Will.

I had just gotten out of hospital after a bashing, coma and physical therapy. I wasn't doing that well in crowds and the only person who I allowed to touch me was Daphne. When ever I made my way to the diner Will always came with me, he would stay at least five paces behind me and be there for me when it all got too much and I would turn around frantically searching for him and feel a huge wave of relief when my eyes landed on him, I would run back into his arms and not let go of his warm body until we found our booth in the diner. I always felt like the people around me were all looking at me with the same picture of hatred on their faces like Chris Hobbs had, right before the bat connected with my skull.

I had been going to the diner for a week by then. I went at around 3 because it was quite quiet until of course I met Debbie, who was by far the most interesting person I had met in my entire life. She was full of colour and had so much confidence it scared me a bit. But then she told me of all the things she does for gay people like me, how she is part of PFLAG and helps teens who are just coming out, or scared to, people getting bullied, beat up. Even some who have been bashed. Her passion is what inspired me to live my life again; I borrowed some of her confidence and strolled out of the diner with my head held high after only 5 visits to Debbie. She really is a hero. Ignorant as she is to that fact.

My Christmases with Will have been great but just not amazing. When I left home that star was something I made sure I took with me. We'd known each other for about 6 months and I'd agreed to spend Christmas Eve with him. Christmas day was of course to be spent with Daphne and her parents but then I'd be with Will after dinner. As soon as we got to his condo he showed me the undecorated tree and suggested that we decorate it together. I had my precious star in my backpack and when we finished I put it in its rightful place. Then it all went to shit.

"What is that?" His tone was comical, like he was expecting me to let him in on a joke.

I know I shouldn't have been so upset but for some reason, the way he said it hit me hard. I looked at his chiselled features and striking blue eyes and saw humour in them. I could tell that he genuinely thought I was making some sort of practical joke. So I tried to explain it to him. I told him about my family traditions and the whole time he looked like he was actually listening but then on Christmas day, when I woke up, after only 4 hours of sleep (if you get what I mean), I walked into the kitchen and saw that Will was making me breakfast with my star lying beside the fridge and an angel on top of the tree. What. The. Fuck.

He brushed it off, saying that in his family it was tradition to put the angel on the tree. I guessed it was okay after a little while because it was his condo and his tree, but I just wished I could have my little non-star.

So Christmases away from my family haven't been the best but they have been really good. I always have dinner with Daphne's family now and Will joins me. Daphne decided to take my star and put it on her tree our second Christmas together, after I told her what happened with Will. I swear I nearly fuking cried when I saw that.

Now Christmas is almost a week away and Will is away on business in California and he's not back until the 22nd. I was thinking of spending some more time with Brian while he's away, because then I haven't got the jealous boyfriend asking all sorts of stupid questions about who I'm with and what time I plan on being home. It's like freshmen year of high school all over again. I get why Will is jealous; he's seen how Brian and I are together the day before he left for California. Brian brought me home and invited himself in to use the bathroom, when Brian kissed me goodbye that night I thought nothing of it because I've kind of gotten used to it after 2 weeks with Brian. But Will didn't think it was so normal. That night I had to seduce him and give his dick my attention for an hour for him to get that pout off of his face. Before he left he said that he sort of understood and that I obviously wasn't hiding anything, otherwise I wouldn't have let Brian kiss me in front of him.

Brian has been absolutely amazing to me. We've been getting to know each other for about 2 weeks now. We've spoken on the phone every other day and have met up about eight times at his loft, just to talk, eat and watch movies. He's a great friend and he's the kind of guy who needs to touch someone he's close to, I guess. I mean he holds on to me when he can and it's so cute. I've told him though, that in no uncertain terms; we are just friends. It was what I pointed out when he invited me to dinner that first time. But then I realised that he wasn't like that with all of his friends.

When I got invited to Debs' Sunday dinner, I finally met all of his other friends. Michael wouldn't stop staring at my ass and I'm lucky Ben just laughed it off; with the size comparison he would have knocked me out if he was the jealous type. Brian kept his arm around me during dinner and didn't eat that much himself. When we arrived the only people he greeted properly were Michael, with a chaste kiss, Lindsay, with a kiss on the cheek and Gus, who received a bear hug and a kiss on the forehead. Brian had told me about Gus the second time I met him at his loft and I was surprised that, with all Michael was saying about Brian Kinney and love, he had a kid. But Gus is the most amazing kid ever, if a little cheeky; he's smart and he knows how to get his way. I think the puppy dog eyes came out about 4 times that night.

After dinner we all sat in the living room sipping on a drink of our choice for a while. Brian joined Gus and I on the floor and sat beside me, ignoring all of the others. His leg was fully against mine and his hand slipped onto my thigh more than once. We were all drawing pictures with the crayons and pencils provided by Deb. Brian was actually a good drawer, I mean, he didn't completely suck. I was drawing with Gus's help; he held my hand which was holding the crayon and drew a load of squiggly lines on the paper. He is only 1 years old after all.

When Lindsay was getting Gus ready to go and Brian and I were putting our coats on, Gus turned to me and pat his open mouth with his tiny hand. I knelt down and asked him what he wanted. He pat his mouth again and then pat mine. I turned to Brian at that point because I realised what Gus was trying to say and my eyes were wide with adoration for Gus. Brian just stared at me with awe and gave me a smile worth a million. I turned back to Gus and gave him a kiss, after he nodded his head as if satisfied and then left with his mothers. I fell in love with the youngest Kinney that night.

So, Christmas… I think I'm gong to call Brian now.

I pick up the phone and dial his memorized number, he picks up after just the first ring. "Kinney." I think that's automatic for him.

"Taylor."

"Justin… quit being a twat."

"I can't help it. That's why you insisted on us being friends."

"Well, now I insist that I spank you for getting smart with me, then maybe you'll shut up." Pause. "And I did not insist that you be my friend. I'm not that pathetic."

"Oh please! You were practically begging me 'yeah. I would love to be your friend… I'll even pay.'"

His laugh makes me smile "That comment is in danger of being misconstrued as something I'm sure The Boyfriend would not be happy about. And I was obviously high that day, so what the fuck do you want?"

"Sorry. Umm… well Will isn't in town right now so I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me to dinner tomorrow evening. I want to go to this new Thai place; apparently they have the most amazing food there. I was gonna take Daphne after Will told me he, quite obviously, couldn't make it and I have the reservations and everything but Daph is abandoning me to go out on a date so I kinda need you so I don't look like a total looser loner sitting and eating all by myself."

"Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"Breathe." he instructs me. I chuckle down the phone. "I'll come tonight. Even though I seem to be the last option and am only being used so you can keep up appearances."

"Hey! You know you wanna go with me. And you can't really blame me since Will is The… My boyfriend and I am expected to ask him first and besides, you don't even like to eat anyway."

"I love eating! I would eat everything Deb makes if it wasn't going to make me 10 pounds heavier the second it touched my lips. Besides I have nothing to do tomorrow night since that dick, Brown, canceled on me. So I would gladly accompany you so no one else tries steal your innocence."

"Brian, my innocence was stolen a looooong time ago and it was fuking amazing, and I am 21 years old, why would you even imply such a thing?"

"Because… So what time do you wanna go?" Changing the subject. So typically Brian when he doesn't want to talk about something.

"Around eight?"

"Yeah okay. I'll pick you up at your apartment. Later" And he hangs up, doesn't even give me a chance to say the same. Brian. My thoughts are consumed by him for the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Brian's POV:**

I've changed my outfit about ten times and have ended up with the first one I tried on. I'm only meeting Sunshine but I feel nervous, a good nervous, like I have to impress.

I got home at around two o'clock yesterday. After sunshine gave me a call I finished what I needed to do at Kinnetic, and made my way to Babylon to have some fun. I needed to relieve some stress from work' Cynthia felt nauseous and it had to take her throwing up all over my private bathroom, to make her go home to bed. She's pregnant and on her 8th month, nearly half way through it. The rest of the afternoon was hectic. I didn't realise how much Cynthia actually did for me, I guess a raise is needed. That can help with the baby coming along. I'm going to need an assistant for when Cynthia's off spending time with her new born baby.

After work I texted Sunshine and told him to meet me at Woody's first at six, I wanted to teach him how to play pool seeing as the last time he really was amazingly bad. Besides, with The Boyfriend gone, I don't have to worry about getting Sunshine home on time.

I get to Woody's early and take a seat at the bar, I order a JB. Hey look at that, the letters are perfect together.

It's been a great couple of weeks with Sunshine. I never thought I'd be able to make friends outside of the "family", I've always thought that I was going to grow up to be as I was as a kid; alone. I only met Mikey when I was 14 so I was already in the process of setting up all of my defences. Mikey was lucky to get such an insight to me and who I really am but that was only because I wasn't fully able to block everyone out yet; I was still a kid who needed a friend. Now I have Mikey, Emmett, Debbie, Vic, the Munchers and I guess I even have Ted. They only really got to know me because I didn't want to leave Deb, Vic and Michael. Lindsay just kind of fell into the loop in College. She acted like the mother I never had; she always nurtured me and made up excuses for me like a mother should, and she always wanted the best from me and for me, unlike my mother did.

Sunshine walks through the door and smiles at me when he sees me. I motion for him to come over and think of where he stands in my life.

When I think of Sunshine I realise that he's not a trick because he's more important to me than that. And I haven't actually fucked him. He's not the same as Mikey and the boys; their more family friends. I don't know where to place him yet because I'm interested in him and want to get to know him like I have been, but I also know that I want more. I can't be that to him right now though. I can't take him away from The Boyfriend only to fuck him, freak out and then break his heart and leave him alone. I won't do it. I want to wait and see where he wants it to go. I don't even think he realises that I have these feelings for him. But he's made it clear that we're just friends.

I stand up to give him a kiss on his cheek when he reaches me, placing my hand on his back and stroking my thumb up and down. "Hey." I keep my face next to his still, not wanting to break the connection

"Hi." He seems upset for a reason but I'm not sure why. I haven't spoken to him since our last phone call. I move my hand to his lower back and guide him to the empty pool table.

"I figured I'd teach you how to play pool."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" he has a small smile on those perfect lips but his eyes are showing me that he's still upset.

"That you're shit at poll? Yeah." I flash him a grin to let him know I'm joking but I think he already knows that. I take the last sip of my JB and place it on the table near us and rack up the balls. I give him the first shot.

As we go through the game I start to notice how some people's eyes become trained on Sunshine when he's making a shot that requires him to bend a little over the table. We're on the last shot and if he makes this then he wins. I know he's going to be proud of winning, even if it is just a pool game. I can see he's in a vulnerable position when he goes for the black ball and can see how his shirt has risen and there's a little semi circle made by his jeans around his hips. I don't want anyone else seeing his beautiful skin or thinking they have a right to it. So I move in.

**Justin's POV:**

I suck at pool. Will has told me this like a million times, but I always thought he was exaggerating. Whenever we've gone out and happened to play, I've always lost. To be completely fair though, he used to distract me all the time. I'd be pulling back the pool cue and he'd "accidently" drop something, bend over to get it and then the cue ball would end up on the other side of the room. But with Brian's help I've done better this game. We both have just the black ball to pot and it's my shot.

Before I arrived at Woody's, I was on the phone with Will. He informed me that he was most likely not going to be able to make it back before Christmas. That pissed me off. So know I'm trying to cheer myself up and if anyone can do that then I'm completely sure that it's Brian.

Right now I'm bending over the pool table trying to reach the cue ball, in the middle of the table, with my small arms and aiming at the black ball close to the top left hand pocket. I can feel eyes on me from people in the bar as, I guess, my shirt has raised a touch. Or maybe a lot. But at that moment I can feel something warm take a hold of my waistband and fingers touching the inside of my jeans. I'm just about to turn around and scream for some personal space at whoever thinks he can touch me like this, when I hear Brian's voice whispering in my ear. "Take the shot." His breath is warm on my skin and I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. He has this weird effect on me that a friend shouldn't. I take a deep breath because he's still leaning over me and I feel strangely nervous. But I take the shot.

YES! I made it! I turn and jump on Brian with the happiness I feel. I know it's a completely trivial thing to be proud of but I've never won a game of pool to anyone and any achievement, to me, has to be celebrated to no end. He hugs me back and I'm glad. For a second I'm glad that it's not Will here who's celebrating this with me, I'm glad that it's Brian. I want him to be witness to all of my happiness and for him to know that since I've met him, he's the one whose been making me feel that way. I pull back slightly so that my face is just inches from Brian's. "I did it." I whisper with a smile on my face. It's like the whole room has disappeared and the faint noises around me are just that: faint. I want to kiss him.

**Brian's POV:**

My arms are around Sunshine's waist and his around my shoulders when he faces me. I can sense what's about to happen, I'm Brian Kinney and I know when somebody wants me. He leans in a touch and so do I, expecting the first kiss that he's initiated. This could be our first real kiss that involves heat and passion and tongues; a kiss that a couple would share. Our kisses so far have been perfunctory hello and goodbye kisses, they're small pecks on each others lips or on the cheek. Sometimes I kiss him because he does something cute or he takes offense to something that wasn't implied in that way and I have to show him I'm sorry. A kiss is how I communicate. But this one is going to be the real thing.

I really want this kiss, but maybe I shouldn't. I shouldn't kiss him this way, the way I've wanted to since I first saw him. He's not ready for that yet and he has this whole other life that he's built with The Boyfriend, he wouldn't want to betray him like that. I would never want for him to look at me with guilt, or even worse: guilt. I guess I have to reassure him that his want for kissing me is just because we're friends. I'm an ad man, I can sell anything.

He's suddenly pulling away from me like I burnt him. He looks around the room, dazed, like a deer caught in headlights, his bangs swaying from side to side as his face whips around the room. As if The Boyfriend is going to jump out at any second. He finally looks back at me and let out a nervous chuckle. "Will will be expecting me soon." He says while pointing behind him with his thumb over at the entrance, walking backwards. He's blatantly lying and I know he's freaked out because he wanted to kiss me. But I don't want him to go.

"Will isn't expecting you soon or at any other time. He's away remember?"

That made him nervous. "Yeah but… I… umm… He's going to call me…" I raise my eyebrow at him "and I'm pretty tired so…"

"Don't do that." I walked over to him and hold his head in my hands, bending my legs just a bit to be even with him in regards to height. "Don't make excuses for why you have to leave me. Don't ever lie to me Justin. Just tell me the truth."

"I have to go." It is the truth. Now he's feeling what I am too, even if it is just a fraction of it, and he's freaking out. He probably needs to go away and sort this out in his head. But I'm going to sort it out for him now, without the need for him to toss and turn about it tonight while it plagues his mind.

"Tell me Justin. What did you just want to happen." I need him to tell me what he just wanted then. My eyes don't waver from him. I need him to know that it's okay for him to tell me the truth; I want honesty in this weird relationship of ours.

"I… I wanted to," He pauses and lowers his eyes, then whispers. "I wanted to kiss you." He takes a step back, away from me.

"Justin." I chuckle at the way he tells me, like it's such a bad thing. Maybe if I make a joke out of it all then things won't get awkward between us or tell him it's completely normal. "What do you think I want when I kiss you? When I see you, I want to kiss you because you're my friend and it's a way of showing affection. I look at you when you arrive and I want to kiss you hello or later. It's nothing bad, besides I've kissed you often enough that I kinda expect you to have that same feeling towards me now. It's the way I show my affection to you and you've learned from me that you can return the action with the same intention. Justin you're overreacting." I'm lying but really it's only the 'I want to kiss you because you're my friend' part.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I mean, I can't believe I thought I wanted to actually, really kiss you." Woah there, no need to hurt me here. "I just simply wanted to kiss you, in the most platonic manner a kiss can be, because you're my friend and I'm happy because I won a game of pool so I'm trying to express that in the way that you've unintentionally taught me to." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself of his feelings. "Anyway, I have The Boyfr… a boyfriend." He blushes at his last words. I laugh so much at his little slip. I'm laughing so hard that I let go of his face and bend over to hold my aching stomach with one hand while the other holds his hip to stop me from falling. "Brian. Quit being such a dick." 

I control my self so now I'm letting out the occasional laugh while speaking. "I'm not being a dick (laugh) I'm the nicest guy ever (laugh) look, I'm sorry (laugh) I, I wont laugh anymore." Even he's chuckling with me.

I straighten up and look at him again and we're both smiling at each other. "I didn't mean to laugh, I swear. It's just that I must have quite the influence over you if you're referring to him as The Boyfriend."

"Yeah well, shut up." 

"Oh, wow, very eloquent." 

"I thought you weren't being a dick?" he raises a brow at me in a very Brian Kinney like fashion. I'm impressed.

"Okay, no more dick. Unless, of course, you want some."

"Want some what?" he looks so confused. I look down at my crotch and his eyes follow.

"Brian! No, I do not want some!" He gives me that sunshine smile of his. Perfect; no weirdness, just Brian and Sunshine. "I'd rather go to the restaurant; we were supposed to go to anyway, and eat there." Oh yeah.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, come on." I grab his hand and lead him to the door. I look back for a second. "Did you bring your car?"

"I don't have a car, I got the bus."

"You don't have a car?" At the shake of his head I smile. "I guess you'll be riding with me then." By the way dinner was great.

**Feedback is appreciated since I'm a first time writer. Do you have any suggestions? Criticisms? Anything is welcome! Thankyouuuu! And I know the whole skipping the dinner part is cheeky but I'll do a sort of flashback or something in the next chapter. I'm running low on ideas though so I don't really know when the next chapter will be up. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I drew a picture for Justin and Wills' apartment but I don't know if it will show so you may just have to use your imagination from my lack of description. If the picture does show then the bathroom leads on from the bedroom to the right. I couldn't put that in for some reason, sorry xx**

**Justin's POV:**

Will has been calling every day since our last conversation, that was the one before I met Brian at Woody's, he keeps trying to make up excuses for why he cant be with me on Christmas. He knows how important it is to me but I know how important his business is to him. He can't help it if he got chosen to represent someone who isn't in the Pitts, I'd rather he be putting criminals away than have to give that up to spend a holiday with me that he can next year. If we're even still together by then.

I've been enjoying my time with Brian a lot thought lately. After the little confusion about me wanting to kiss him everything has been great. I was so confused about my feelings for that short time, it was terrifying. He's my friend and I shouldn't feel that way about him but then he carefully explained to me that it was normal for some friends to do that. Some people just need that touch or little bit of attention in return. I guess I'm like that because when we said goodbye that night I gave him small kiss on the lips.

His lips are so soft and taste like cherry, the exact colour they are. They're smooth and have the perfect shape to them; his cupids bow is absolutely to die for. I've been itching to draw his classic beauty for a while now but I haven't even drawn Will all that much so he may misinterpret it for something it wasn't. Brian's just every artists dream; the best thing about him though, is that there are things that make him human. He has this one tooth that isn't in line with the rest which catches my attention whenever he smiles at me. He's shy about revealing his true feelings and his lean body isn't the stereotypical gym bunny's body that every other person thinks is beautiful. He looks like he's been sculpted by the most perfect hands. He looks like Brian. I wonder how we'd look as a couple.

He has the perfect loft for his personality and lives for his image. I'm trying to get him away from that. He claims to not care what other people think, but I know that he carries on with the club life though he's tired of it; he made Kinnetic and works damn hard to make it the success it is today because he wants to make his chosen family proud of him, but most of all Gus and Debbie. His loft is spacious and open. It's his and he bought it to prove to the world that he is better than they thought him to be.

Will's apartment can only be described as grand, Will uses it to entertain the more affluent clients, most of who are fraudsters with offshore accounts, his boss and his wife. However, his parents seem to be the most important people who step through that door, he seems to do everything to please his parents. They wanted him to take law so he did, they wanted him at Yale so he went, they picked his apartment so he moved in. In that respect we are different; I would never do what my parents told me. My parents wanted me to have a wife and 2.5 children, I told them I'm gay. They wanted me to go to Dartmouth, I now go to PIFA. They want me to stay away from Molly, I see her every other Wednesday when my parents think she is at a regular sleep over at her friends house. I'm feeling the urge to stick my tongue out right now.

Will's apartment is very nice, as you walk in there is the kitchen on the right, and you face the glass wall that cuts through the middle. It allows you to feel like there isn't a wall at all. On the right side is the living area and television and at the end is the door to the bedroom which then leads into the bathroom. On the left are the dining table and arcade machines that Will bought me for my birthday last year. Funny how he's usually the one who's playing on them. Will's office is the behind the left wall and my studio is behind the right. My studio door has a lock on it, I don't let anyone in all that much. There's a soft knock on the door so I stand up from my place on the sofa to answer it.

I open the door and, who else is there but Brian (I hate people so I don't have many friends) I give him a kiss on his cheek and invite him in. "Did we arrange to meet?" I don't think I invited anyone over but I've been distracted a lot lately, so I may have forgotten.

"No I just felt like seeing you." He seems really calm and genuine but I can't help but wonder why he's here in the middle of the afternoon and not at work like he should be. He has obviously just come from work because he has this form fitting, black suit on. Oh, and don't forget the tie. I think he's all decked out in Armani.

"Is everything you're wearing Armani?" he gives a little twirl but he's not putting much effort into it.

"Yup." Then he walks over to the sofa and throws himself down on it. I close the door and grab two beers out of the fridge and join him, sitting on the edge. He curves his body allowing me more space. "Your bubble but needs more space than normal people's." his eyes are closed and he seems to be drifting off to sleep so I set his beer on the coffee table in front of me and open mine to take a sip.

I brush his hair away from his forehead and kiss it. "You want to tell me what happened?" he grunts and opens one eye to look at me. He leans forward and I pull back. "You're going to tell me eventually, it is my sofa you're on and no amount of kissing is going to distract me from the fact that you, most probably, left work and came here. Which is strange because you love it at Kinnetic." I look at him with knitted eyebrows.

"I do love Kinnetic." He says it so simply. "I just… Cynthia isn't really able to do anything right now because she's extremely pregnant and anything can make her cry a river. So to give her a break, I've been trying to handle all of the things that she does, and she does a hell of a lot. On top of that I'm taking care of all my usual responsibilities, and ever since we lost Carrie to motherhood, our art department seems to be making a mess of things all the time and I have to come up with all the concepts because my ad men seem to be incompetent." He looks so worn out and I feel so much sympathy for him right now. "I'm so tired Justin." He whispers.

"Well why don't you rest for a while to get some of your strength back up?" he barely nods. "Come on, you can sleep in the bedroom, it's much more comfortable than the sofa."

"Are you trying to seduce Justin?" Even when he's half asleep he finds time to tease me about the littlest thing.

"Do you want somewhere to sleep or do you want me to send you to Deb?" 

"Okay, okay." I thought that would make him shut up. He lifts his arms towards me. "Carry me?"

I look at him like he's crazy. "Do you want me to break my back?"

He lets out a small laugh, obviously joking. "Of course not, we wouldn't want you to be out of whack for when The Boyfriend come home to the Pitts." He stands and makes his way to the bedroom. "When does he get back by the way?"

"He's not going to be back until after Christmas. He let me know that time we went to Woody's. You know, the time I kicked your ass at pool?"

He grunts and then finally falls onto the bed. He seems to be asleep and he looks uncomfortable so I take off his suit jacket, that was a struggle, then his belt, shoes and socks and finally his trousers. He'd kill me if I didn't hang them up so I do just that. As I'm about to leave he calls out to me. "Come lie down with me."

I smile and change into my sweats to take a nap with him. I snuggle under the cover and wonder who is keeping check at Kinnetic. "Did you just walk out or did you let someone know?" I whisper to him.

He shrugs and pulls me closer to him with his eyes closed. "I left Theodore in charge. He's probably jerking off to porn in my office as we sleep." I laugh and drift off to sleep with his arm clutching at my back.

**Brian's POV:**

I wake up under silk sheets that flow across my skin as I sit up in bed. I look around and familiarise myself with my surroundings. I'm in The Boyfriends place, in their bed, where they've had sex. I jump out of it as if it had just bitten my ass and look around for my clothes. But then I think better of it and walk out of the bedroom in my black briefs and undershirt to find Sunshine on the sofa watching… a cartoon? "Sunshine, I know you look young but I doubt it's young enough to be watching cartoons."

He looks at me and smiles "I happen to like the Powerpuff Girls. Anyway it's my T.V so I can watch what I want."

"Oh, really?" I go to sit beside him and lay my head in his lap. I'm still feeling quite tired. He looks down at me and raises his eyebrow. "You paid for this T.V with all of your own money?" He looks away and focuses on the cartoon.

"I moved in with Will so I didn't buy any of the big stuff here okay? But I do pay for things. I pay what I can of the rent and when I have the money I buy groceries, I paid part of the money for dinner when Will and I go. I pay for stuff." Fuck I made him upset.

"Justin, I know you pay for stuff. I was just joking." I try to reassure him.

"Yeah well next time think of something better to joke about." He looks back down at me again and I decide to change the subject.

"So The Boyfriend isn't going to be back for Christmas?"

"No, he said new evidence came up and he was needed to stay longer."

"I'm sure you can survive without him."

"Yeah I can. It's just gonna be pretty lonely without him here. I don't have a family to go to and Daphne and her parents are going to Hawaii for Christmas. Christmas was always this huge thing for my family. We had all these traditions. My dad would tickle me awake in the morning and then he'd let me put on the star. It wasn't the greatest looking star but I made it when I was really young and he used to be so proud of me after I'd put it on. I still have it. I just don't have anyone to hug me after I put it on the tree." He looks even more upset now. I never knew he was this close to his father. Being rejected by him after coming out must have been even harder to accept because he didn't expect him to react that way.

"You're in luck. Debbie loves to feed people to the point of exploding, especially on Christmas, and I always buy her a huge ass tree because I don't really get gifts for anyone. So I looks like your star has a place to sit on Christmas day now, get ready to put on about a hundred pounds."

He looks hesitant. "I couldn't."

"No you can't can you? You and your weird metabolism just won't allow it. Whereas I need to go to the gym after every meal or else I'd probably spontaneously get fat!"

Sunshine puts his hand on my stomach and stokes up and down. "Brian you are not fat! If you'd just stop obsessing about it you'd be a lot more stress free, you don't need to worry about that. Besides, I'm not talking about putting on weight, idiot. I couldn't just impose on her like that."

"Yes you could." I sit up and face him. I'm trying to be nice and he won't accept my offer?

"Brian…" 

"Justin… You're going." I look him dead in the eye and receive a nod of acceptance from him. I smile and kiss him on the lips before lying down on his lap again and closing my eyes. He strokes his fingers through my hair and it feels so comforting and relaxing that I can feel myself falling to sleep yet again. I must be really tired. I feel his lips on my forehead and his whispered "Thanks." And fall asleep with a soft smile on my lips.


End file.
